If you recall my earlier post about the absurdly penile noses of this year’s Formula 1 cars, you’ll remember that the Williams FW36 was one of the few designs I actually liked. But since they hadn’t signed a primary title sponsor at the time, the car they brought to testing wasn’t going to look like the car they would race with. Well, today they unveiled the new livery.
For reference, here’s the original:
And here’s what was unveiled today:
Not too shabby, I must say! Still like the blue better, but that’s just my personal opinion. Martini has been sponsoring motorsports for decades and that livery is as classic as they come. There’s more pictures here for whoever’s curious.
For this week, we spend some time memorializing the many actors and musicians who have passed away this year (way too many), we discuss the Comcast/Time Warner merger, upcoming movies, and the B-Movie Review!
Our B-Movie Review for this week is Lair of the White Worm, a stinky piece of English horror from 1988. It stars a young Hugh Grant and a young Peter Capaldi (aka, the 12th Doctor Who).
And, as always, here are my show notes for your reading/riffing pleasure:
1. Well, the opening credits certainly aren’t promising.
2. Hugh Grant, the woman from Max Headroom, one of the daughters from Dynasty (who’s a real life princess, I might add), and Doctor Who. Strap in!!!
3. Not to mention “Sammi Davis”.
4. Director of Photography: Dick Bush. I’m not making that up!
5. Yes, the title “Produced and Directed by Ken Russell” probably does deserve the horror movie music stinger.
6. The movie establishes that everyone is British in much the same way as the Nazi’s established military superiority in France in 1940.
7. Is “hot water bottle” a euphemism for a three way?
8. I’m confused now. We’ve established we’re in Britain, even got Hugh Grant to prove it, the music at the party is Celtic themed, but we’re clearly at a hoedown.
9.And now there’s a vaguely Asian dragon loose. Could this be the “white worm” of the title? God, I hope not.
10. Actually, the band isn’t half bad.
11. Man, Hugh Grant & Doctor Who are REALLY young!
12. So, there’s a legend of a local “dragon” who was slain by HG’s ancestor, Dr. Who finds a “dinosaur” skull, and no one has made the connect yet?
13. Oh, wait; Dr. Who just did!
14. Pickled earthworms are a local delicacy? Yeah…
15. 10 minutes in and this is my 15th note. I might have carpal tunnel by the time it’s over!
16. And Dr. Who has a companion! I’m assuming it’s “Sammi”.
17. Looks like the local police are the British equivalent of the Keystone Cops.
18. Woman in a white tricorner hat sucking venom from an overweight cop’s snakebite wound. Wasn’t expecting to see that today!
19. The horror movie stinger was used again. Does this mean Ken Russell is about?
20. OK! “Her Ladyship” just stole the dragon skull and proceeded to spit venom all over a crufix on her way out. Again, something I didn’t expect to see today.
21. Unless the cues are a ruse, this movie is about to be less one Princess.
22. And plus a lot of bad special effects.
23. Boobies!!!
24. She’s still alive! I can’t even describe the “dream” sequence she just had, though. Suffice to say, Ken Russell is going to Hell for more than one reason.
25. Kev the hitchhiker is either going to get laid or killed. Which it is will probably determine if this remains a horror film or becomes a porno.
26. Her Ladyship is wearing black lace bra & panties, but of course, they’re playing Snakes & Ladders. Why wouldn’t they?
27. In a real life situation, Kev probably would have creamed his shorts at this point.
28. And Kev just got his cock bitten by Her Ladyship’s snake fangs. OUCH! Guess it’s a horror film from here on out. Darn!
29. Exit Kev the hitchhiker!
30. Why do we keep picking movies that can so easily become porno’s?
31. I’ve now entered Hugh Grant’s “dream sequence”, aka sexual fantasy about flight attendants minus the sex.
32. The film is trying so hard to be arty and failing so miserably.
33. Ok, Hugh Grant’s bit with the pin while the ladies are wrestling in their flight attendant outfits was about as a subtle was a bout of food poisoning.
34. I think Peter the butler enjoys drawing Hugh’s bath a bit too much.
35. In real life, if some rich fop wanted three normal people to go exploring a cave with him based on a dream he had, they’d laugh until they peed their pants.
36. Our Yugoslavian Princess just left the group: He’s a gonner!
37. And she’s been hypnotized and kidnapped by Her Ladyship.
38. More boobies!!
39. Her Ladyship just ordered the Princess to disrobe! Suddenly this movie has gotten a lot more interesting!
40. This movie can’t decide if it’s a horror film, and art house movie, or a porno.
41. So much for the lesbian scene with Her Ladyship & the Princess. Damn you, movie!!
42. Hugh’s leaps of logic are astounding. They make those conspiracy theories we covered last year seem simple!
43. Peter the butler is one creepy old dude!
44. Of course Her Ladyship sleeps in a wicker basket! What kind of self-respecting snake-woman wouldn’t?
45. And we’ve gone artsy-fartsy again! Make up your mind movie!!!
46. Exit the creepy-ass butler!!
47. No comment on Hugh’s sword work.
48. I’m at a loss to describe the past few minutes of this film: a cock-eyed policeman with fangs and snake-eye contact lenses charmed by Dr. Who playing the bagpies in a kilt. Cause the Scots are renowned for their snake charming abilities, of course.
49. Now Dr. Who is shooting up. That explains a lot about the making of this movie.
50. More boobies!! This time Her Ladyship is also painted blue!
51. The Princess is still alive and in her underwear. Closest we’re gonna get to seeing Royal Boobies, regrettably.
52. This movie wants to be a porno so bad!
53. Dr. Who to the rescue!!
54. I’ve seen better monster effects in old Godzilla films.
55. Surprise, surprise! The Princess lived through the whole movie!
56. And a twist ending worthy of M. Night Shymalan. i.e., it’s sucks.
Hello out there! Lefty here. I am debuting a new feature for our blog. As the title states, I want to try my hand at reviewing/critiquing different types of music. For now I will be sticking to the CDs I own. There will be very little new music in these. I do hope however, to eventually post something about an obscure album or even a more mainstream album that makes you want to try it out.
I love music. I have been this way for 35 plus years. From sitting in front of my boom box with my finger on the record button just waiting for the radio to play the latest song I just have to own to collecting (some might say hoarding) my now way too giant CD collection, music has been something of a calling for me. I have no musical talent on my own and I can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Perhaps that is why it is such a wonder to me to see people craft music. The art of fitting lyrics to music and the manipulation of notes to create something beautiful is amazing to me. That being said, let me begin my review.
“Bat Out of Hell” was released in October of 1977. The producer was Todd Rundgren and the composer of the songs and the music for the entire album was Jim Steinman. Of course the vocals were by Meatloaf. To say that this album is theatrical is an understatement. It is theater at its finest. There is so much going on musically. The opening song, “Bat out of Hell”, hits you with this thundering piano, drums and a roaring electric guitar that tells you that you are in for a show like no other. When Meatloaf’s vocals kick in, he belts out the song almost in desperation. Now I will have to say, I have in the past made the comparison to his singing as to that of Mighty Mouse in the old cartoons. That opinion still holds true for me, but for the fun and campiness of this album, it works. There is a cohesion and a flow to the songs. That goes back to the production of Todd Rundgren. He works a sort of darkness to some of the songs and in the next breath makes it fun, as in the song “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights”. Everything on this album is over the top and it is meant to be that way and that is why it is so fun to listen to. I will say however, to get the full effect, I recommend getting the re-mastered version of the CD. It does make the sound cleaner and the vocals clearer. This album is meant to be played loud as any good rock and roll record should be.
Now after this praise, comes the critiquing. Although over all I do really like this album, it suffers from being a product of its age. Younger listeners might not appreciate the long songs or the slower dramatic songs. Also, if you do not get into the theatrics and the grandiose style of the album, you probably will not like it. Straight forward rock and roll it is not.
It is an event. If you are willing to take a little chance and go outside of your comfort zone, I recommend trying it out for size and see if it fits your tastes!
Well the title says it all. The same could go for my picks from last year. Although I must say there is a better chance of me watching the movies than the awards show. The Oscars, like any other award show, is just a meeting of egos for insecure pretty people who need to be king and queen of the prom. These shows have never had much integrity, but the last 15 years or so, it has gotten worse. Lame hosts, long speeches and a watered down talent pool, leads to the equivalent of watching cheese age, just not as fun. That being said, here I go.
Best Movie
Well this is just a guess, but I think it will go to 12 Years a Slave. It just feel like this one will take it.
Best Actor
I am going to go out on a limb and say Leonardo will win it this year. He is due. He is really a good actor, although I think his movie itself might ruin his chance.
Best Actress
Let’s go with Amy Adams, just because she is cute.
Best Supporting Actress and Actor
I have no fucking clue. Let’s go with Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper since I have actually have heard of them.
Best Visual Effects
I am going with an obvious one for my odd category. Gravity is going to run away with this. I say this because most people when describing this movie to me, only talk about the effects.
Well that is it for me. Let’s see which one of us get the most correct!
Best Picture: For a change, I’ve actually seen a few of the films that were nominated this year! I really want American Hustle to win, cause it was a great fucking movie. However, I have go with 12 Years a Slave to actually take the statue. Not just because it also won the Golden Globe or because it’s also a great film, but because it just has that air of inevitability.
Best Actor: Haven’t seen Dallas Buyers Club yet, but everyone is raving about how great Matthew McConaughey was in it. If he doesn’t win, it’ll be Chiwetel Ejiofor for 12 Years a Slave.
Best Actress: Don’t know about this one! Some tough competition here! Loved Amy Adams in American Hustle, so that’s who I’m picking.
My random category is:
Best Animated Short Film: I’m going with Get a Horse, which was the Mickey & Minnie Mouse cartoon which ran before Frozen. It’s fucking awesome and enough reason to plop down the $10 to see the entire film.
I’ll also be sorely disappointed if Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t win Best Support Actress for American Hustle. She’s easily, IMHO, the best actress in Hollywood at this time and turned in a great performance (again).
I can remember when I was a kid being excited about the show. You got to see your favorite actors and root for movies you liked. Now that I’m older, I find that it’s just a little amusing diversion. I don’t even watch the show anymore because it’s just so saccharine.
Anyway, I’m going to try to do better than last year. So here we go!
Best Picture
Holy Shit! There’s 9 nominees! The commercials have really been pushing Gravity. I hear lots of good things about American Hustle. 12 Years A Slave won the Golden Globe. I think, because of that, I’m also going to pick 12 Years A Slave.
Best Actor
Hmmm… I think it will be down to Matthew McConaughey or Chiwetel Ejiofor. But I’m going to pick Matthew McConaughey.
Best Actress
Man! I’ve got no idea here. I’m going to chicken out and go with the Golden Globe winner Cate Blanchette.
Best Director
Hmmmm…. Another sticky one. I’m going to guess Alfonso Cuaron just because of the technical challenges of shooting Gravity.
Best Animated Film
This category is very personal to me. I have a lot of bias as well. I’ll just cut through the crap and say that if The Wind Rises doesn’t win, then the entire academy can go fuck themselves!
Well, that’s all I’m daring to pick this year. Hopefully I won’t suck as bad as last year.
Unfortunately the only performance is a giant tragedy that never seems to end. The actors are all done up with their make-up and grease paint and we the audience sit by the glow of our computer screens reading and watching as the play is acted out. There is no intermission, no chance to step away from it and take a breather. We are subjected to an endless variety of war, murder, rape, mutilation and sadness. That’s all within the first five minutes. This group hates that group, the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, soldiers and civilians dying for some ideology that is beyond their control, governments spying on their own citizens to keep them “safe”. It has all the trappings of an Irwin Allen movie, but there are no B-rated stars to look upon. We only have the faces of the injured or dead. They say plenty, but somehow no-one seems to listen. The leaders of the world all seem to be interested in making political and power moves rather than trying to fix the problems facing their respective countries. They are all playing their parts to perfection, unfortunately.
What part do we as a nation have in this giant cluster fuck of a production? Well we are the protagonist. We are the star. The blue-eyed bombshell who makes her way directly to the spotlight. We have the potential to make you laugh and make you cry and make you mad as hell. All other characters flow through us. Some wait for our lead to say their lines and some try to be an upstart and trample over our dialogue. We are not perfect, but with the right motivation, we can be the best actor out there. What is our motivation you may ask? Well sadly most of the time it is the all mighty dollar. We take that concept and run with it full force. It morphs our character in to this ugly, bent old man much like Dickens’ Scrooge. Our monologue is filled with words such as NSA, terrorism, freedom, drones and safety. The words have changed over the years, replace terrorist with communist and NSA with FBI. However, the tone is the same. When we are motivated by the good and the generosity that this country possesses, we become the best actor on the stage. We need to be leading the way, showing the others how to learn their lines and how to make their audience laugh instead of making them cry. I still have hope that this will happen. It will happen with the youth of this country. I am a strong believer of how the next generations will improve things and clean up the act of past performers. It takes time, just like all things, and in the end we will become a stronger nation for it.
For my final act, I would like to talk about the role of the audience in this production. That’s right, you and me. We are the critics. We are the ones who can change the actors on the stage and even change the scenery and backdrop if we want to. We do that with voicing our opinions, by writing editorials, by standing up for what is right and good about this country. The pen is mightier than the sword. I should up date this to say that the keystroke is mightier than the drone. We watch from a distance and feel helpless. Don’t. Write your congressman, write your president and let them know how you feel. If enough people stand up and say we want REAL hope and change, I think they might actually listen. I mean they don’t want to lose their part in the play. I don’t want to make this so America-centric. This can be done on the world’s stage as well. To quote the movie “Network”, “we are all mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore”. Write them and be the critic to the drama that is playing before you.
Mid-Life Crisis Task Force 