My Bolonga has a first name it’s O-S-C-A-R-S

That’s right kids, it is Oscar time. That special time of year when Hollywood gives itself a giant pat on the back and fills itself with self-congratulatory punch. If they were not full of self-importance before, these award shows lets them show their stuff for real. From brain draining red carpet interviews to the thank you speeches, there is enough dreck there to fill the Grand Canyon. On this note, let me start with my Oscar picks 🙂

Best Picture- I will be honest, I haven’t seen any of these movies this year. The older I get the less I like going to the movies. These films I am sure have their merit, but let’s be honest, if I never saw any of them, would I really be missing anything? No, I don’t think so. Since Rando and Pancho are picking their winners, I will say that Les Miseables will probably win. Although Life of Pi apparently features a tiger on a boat…that is pretty cool I suppose 🙂

Best Actor- Well this one is a toss-up I think. In the end I think the award goes to Daniel Day-Lewis for his portrayal of the Five dollar bill.

Best Actress- Well the only actress I have actually heard of in this group is Naomi Watts, so let’s just go with her for the sake of argument.

Best Director- I think Spielberg can add this years Oscars to his list of accomplishments. Just a feeling. Lincoln got a lot of hype, even though in this one he didn’t kill any vampires. I guess being historically accurate means something these days?

Best Original Song- Well since they really cut out a lot of awards this year, I choose this one as my totally random pick. I wish they had best Grip or even Best assistant to such and such star, but they don’t. I will go with Adele for her theme from “Skyfall”. Haven’t heard that song…but people are ape shit about Adele, so I am going with that.

Well there they are folks, my Oscar picks. Lets take them for what they are, a not so serious look at a subject that is not serious at all.

Take Care,


Pancho’s attempt at baking bread.

As you my or may not know, I’ve been unemployed for the better part of two months now.  With little spendable cash & nothing to do, I’ve taken to going to various lengths to keep myself entertained; volunteered at a cat shelter, starting learning about the Arduino, making contacts on my ham radio, watching bad movies, etc.  Today, I decided to tackle a new challenge.

With the headache I woke up with this morning feeling better, I decided to try my hand at baking bread! Yes, I’m that bored. Lessons learned so far:

1. There’s a reason folks use a bread machine or an electric mixer when doing this.

2. It’s impossible to work with flour and not get it on every conceivable surface in your kitchen.

3. 10 minutes is a long goddamn time to be kneading dough! Especially if one has a history of shoulder problems.

4. Note to wife: We need a dough hook for the mixer.

My dough is currently “on the rise,” so to speak. More later!

EDIT #1:

5. This cat:

a known scavenger, apparently likes bread dough as I found her on the kitchen counter licking up the flour I’d missed while cleaning up. Cats have a reputation for being finicky, but I’ll be damned if I’ve ever had one that was!

6. Kitchen timers work better when you press the “Start” button.

7. Concrete Blonde makes good baking music!

8. So far so good!!

EDIT #2:


Now let’s hope it’s edible!

Sunday!! Sunday!! Sunday!!

No I am not thinking about a monster truck show…just that it is Sunday and Sundays, well they basically suck. Not sure if you are like me, but my Sunday usually consists of waking up around 8 and dreading Monday the whole day. It is a miserable day. It goes by too fast and Monday morning is here before you know it, sticking its tongue out. The weekend is over before you know it and you are back in your 4 wheeled cage, commuting to your other cage where you spend 8 hours and go back home to do it all over again. Seems pointless, doesn’ it? I know what you are thinking : “Lefty, you just have to get out and enjoy the day for what it is worth”. Well to that I give a resounding “Fuck You.” I have ben doing this routine for almost twenty years now and I am telling you, it isn’t getting better with age.

It’s not that I like being like this, but damn it, someone has to state the obvious. We are trapped by our surroundings. Victims of our day-to-day routine and we walk around like sheep, being lead by the Shepard who is waiting just to find us alone when no one is looking…you know what happens from there..

I know I have written a similar post in the early days of this blog, but it bears repeating. Yes we have to pay bills, yes we have to put up with a huge amount of bullshit from the world. Sunday is one of the days I get these feelings the strongest. It just feels like we are spinning in a circle, waiting for the no-tooth Carney to stop this Wheel of Mis-Fortune. There is no real answer, I know, but it does feel good to vent.

Thanks for reading,


Show #7: Facebook, What we’re listening to, and a public service announcement

Show #7 has arrived!  For this week’s episode, we discuss Facebook, what music we’ve been listening to lately, and we make a public service announcement concerning our B-movie.

MLCTF Show 7

Pancho’s Notes from “Battle Beyond the Stars”

Howdy, folks!!!

Part of my prep for the B-Movie Review is taking notes while I’m watching the film.  I’ll be the first to admit, this is my vain attempt to pretend I work for Rifftrax or Mystery Science Theater 3000.  (I guy can dream, I guess.)  Anyway, my cohorts think they’re rather amusing, so I’m gonna share them with you.


  • “A Roger Corman Production” always promises of quality.
  • I see they’re using the Battlestar Galactica font for the credits.
  • Well, the spaceship effects are not completely terrible. I don’t see any string, anyhow.
  • Can’t say the same thing about the interior of the spaceship, though.
  • I’d like a flashing alarm crystal for my home.
  • I’m fighting the urge to wipe whatever that is off John Saxon’s left eye.
  • Same for that mole on John-Boy’s face.
  • The ship trusts John-Boy? Oh, geez.
  • Sentient spaceship named Nell? Who thinks up this stuff?
  • I see Nell has lots of panels with blinking lights and a machine that goes ping!
  • I’ve counted at least four scenes blatantly ripped off from Star Wars and we’re only 10 minutes in.
  • And they’re using Battlestar Galactica sound effects, too. How creative.
  • The spaceship looks like Hammerhead from the Star Wars cantina.
  • We have lens flare! JJ Abrams must have been involved somehow.
  • Nice repurposing of a welders mask.
  • The door opening sound on the space station, doesn’t sound a thing like Darth Vader breathing. Of course not!
  • Yes, John-Boy, the creepy space station guy wants you to fuck his daughter. Is it that hard of a concept?
  • John-Boy’s fuck toy is a terrible actress.
  • It’s bad when the android is less wooden than your leading lady.
  • Dear God! Tell me that is not a Confederate flag on the side of that space ship?
  • And we have space redneck!
  • And he’s high as a kite! Wonderful.
  • I see they have three special effects for this scene.
  • Funny how the peace-loving farm boy from a civilization that only had two spaceships knows what all these hi tech weapons are.
  • Bad actress’ ship is being destroyed by red & blue flashing lens flares! Damn you JJ Abrams!!!
  • We seem to have stumbled into an S&M scene. Might make this film more interesting.
  • Wow! Mention John Saxon’s name & folks fall into line!
  • Nell quotes & disregards this “Varda” thing with reckless abandon
  • John-Boy with a gun is about as threatening as three day old kitten.
  • Being a Nestor must be really boring. And I’m sure painting that eye on every morning must be a pain.
  • It’s the annoying airhead from Newhart! Will the quality of actors in this movie ever stop?!
  • Dial-A-Drug. John-Boy high on crack would be interesting.
  • It’s the Man from Uncle, aka Teenage Caveman!
  • Wow, Robert Vaughn’s face is really crooked.
  • Robert Vaughn: cheapest mercenary in the galaxy!
  • Why don’t you put up the force field, Nell? You were perfectly fine with shooting the laser by yourself.
  • Holy Christ, what the hell is Sybil Danning is wearing?
  • She’s an even worse actress than the other woman.
  • Lizard man is the best actor in this pile of crap.
  • Credit where credit is due, the matte paintings are pretty good.
  • Wow, they didn’t forget any scene from Seven Samurai, did they?
  • The dirt on this planet sure does look like Folger’s Crystals.
  • Wow, this movie could be made into a porno so easy.
  • John-Boy will you just fuck that girl and get it over with, please?
  • Robert Vaughn must have looked back on his own role in The Magnificent Seven and thought to himself, “Wow, my best days are truly behind me”.
  • Cowboy, is it really a good idea to have a device sitting right over your crotch that dispenses liquid of that particular color?
  • A push button firing system? Have these people never heard of a joystick?
  • All these spaceships look alike. I can’t tell who the good guys are.
  • I would think a nuclear missile strike directly to the engine would have made a bigger boom than that.
  • Cowboy takes charge! Let’s hope these guys shoot better than the A-team.
  • For a race of farmers with no weapons, they guys sure do shoot good.
  • The bad guys used some sort of sonic weapon that causes massive ear bleeding. Must have played Justin Bieber at them.
  • Any why exactly does a blind man wander through a battle zone? To poignantly die, I suppose.
  • Sybil Danning’s acting is physically painful to me.
  • And so dies Robert Vaughn! But not to fear, there are cheezy commericals for law firms in his future.
  • If this movie were made 10 years later, I guarantee that Brent Spiner would have been one of the Nestor.
  • Whoa!!! John-Boy just showed an emotion!!!
  • Oh, boy. More awkward romance between John-Boy & whatshername.
  • John-Boy says he’s terrified. You can read it all over his blank, bland face.
  • Down goes Nestor!! Score one for the bad guys!
  • Sybil Danning’s scream would qualify as this episodes stinger. I’ve seen better acting from porn stars. And better fake screaming, too.
  • Lizardman’s name is Cayman. Guess Gator or Croc would have been too obvious.
  • I wonder if it says Space Cowboy on his birth certificate?
  • I guess they’ll have to write “Space Cowboy”on his tombstone since that’s the only name he seems to have.
  • Lizardman’s battle cry is almost as annoying as Justin Bieber. Almost.
  • John-Boy is pissed! You can read it all over his blank, bland face.
  • I thought the only way to deal with those missiles was to outrun them. John-Boy is shooting them down like clay pigeons.
  • Oh, darn! Nell is damaged! Maybe she’ll stop quoting and then ignoring this Varda thing.
  • Reversing the thrusters seems to be the cure to all ills in these movies.
  • And down goes Nell taking John Saxon with her/it. What a waste of time this one was. Think I’ll watch Seven Samurai to atone.

Game Review # 1- Borderlands 2

Today kids I will dip my toe into the murky waters of a video game review. It’s murky because I have never done anything other than the casual “Yeah it is a fun game”. I was never into a lot of the reviews I have read before. Such technical aspects such as being able to see the reflections of water or the shadows of the characters. For me, is it a fun game? Is it worth replaying? How quickly before I totally lose interest.

Now I must add, at my age, I look for different things than a younger game might. I look for a strong story line, a fun game play and I look for anything that is NOT Call of Duty.

Borderlands 2, by 2K software, all in all is a fun game. It is a first person shooter that has some RPG aspects to it. There is character customization, but for me unless I am totally missing it, there is no reason for it. Being a first person shooter, you do not see the character. (Now as of this time, if there is a way to change it to a third person view, I have not seen it. Please forgive me if I have missed it). Not really sure why it is there.

The game play is fun. As with a lot of FPS, there is weapon upgrades, customizations and so forth. The play is smooth and I have had very few lags. (I must mention I have the PS3 version). Movement is smooth and there is a little problem with me controlling the character.

There is online play, but let’s be honest, at 42 I am not gonna go online and get my ass kicked by a 12-year-old. The though of that is depressing and the idea of me actually going online to play a game with a 12-year-old is creepy anyway. So I cannot speak on how bad or good it is. You will have to find out for yourself.

The story is not to be taken to seriously. You are a “vault hunter” who is lured to a planet with promises of riches. This is not the case of course. There is a lot of humour in the game, which I do enjoy. It is a violent game, so if you have kids, you might want to think twice before you let them play. However, if you are my age, go and kill away! There are a ton of side quests in which you get to level up your character. Some of these get tedious over time, but if you are into the flow of the game, you can get into.

Overall, I would say the game is worth renting, but not buying. Now once it lowers to 20 bucks, yeah I would purchase it. $60.00 for a game is ridiculous, but that is for another post!

Take care,


Episode 6: Star Wars, Zombies, and a dramatic reading of Thrift Store

Welcome back!  Episode 6 features a discussion of JJ Abrams directing Star Wars, zombies, and Lefty does a dramatic reading of Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop”!

MLCTF Show 6

Our B-Movie review is of Roger Corman’s Battle Beyond the Stars.

More on Episode V

Rando デス!

If you’ve read my posts, you know I love movies. So I feel like a chump for not being more prepared for the Underrated Movies segment of the show. So, here I am to redeem myself.

My picks for underrated movies were The Good, The Bad, The Weird and The Cabin in the Woods. Poncho’s picks were A Face in the Crowd and M. Lefty’s were Miller’s Crossing and The Boondock Saints. Here’s some info on all of them.

The Good The Bad The Weird
Director: Kim Jee-Woon
Starring: Song Kang-Ho, Lee Byung-Hun, Jung Woo-Sung
Original Release Year: 2008
Availability: DVD, Netflix Instant (as of this writing)
Links: IMDB, Wikipedia

The Cabin in the Woods
Director: Drew Goddard
Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams
Release Year: 2011
Availability: DVD/BD, Netflix rental
Links: IMDB, Wikipedia

A Face in the Crowd
Director: Elia Kazan
Starring: Andy Griffith, Patricia Neal
Release Year: 1957
Availability: DVD
Links: IMDB, Wikipedia

Director: Fritz Lang
Starring: Peter Lorre
Release Year: 1931
Availability: DVD/BD, Amazon Instant
Links: IMDB, Wikipedia

Miller’s Crossing
Director: Joel Cohen
Starring: Gabriel Byrne, Marcia Gay Harden, John Tuturro
Release Year: 1990
Availability: DVD/BD, Netflix instant
Links: IMDB, Wikipedia

The Boondock Saints
Director: Troy Duffy
Starring: Willem Dafoe, Sean Patrick Flanery, Billy Connolly
Release Year: 1999
Availability: DVD/BD, Amazon Instant
Links: IMDB, Wikipedia

And there you have it. Check ’em out. You’ll be glad you did! And don’t forget to check out our show #5!