A Wisconsin Wedding Weekend

Good evening all! It has been a bit since I have posted, but I have been out of town and just got back late last night. As the title says, it was for a wedding that my wife and I took off to Wisconsin. This was our great grand niece on my wife’s side getting married to her true love. This is the first time in a very long time that I have actually seen two people truly in love. The wedding was outside on the most perfect summer afternoon I have ever seen. There were flowers everywhere and you could catch their scent whenever the wind shifted. The bride was beautiful. The groom actually cried as she came down the aisle. They both were so filled with joy and I hope for all the happiness in the world for them for their future. The whole weekend got me to thinking about lots of things. I was in a bit of a reflective mood. I think about these two kids, just starting out and the whole world is theirs for the taking. I have to admit I am envious of it. I mean who hasn’t wanted a do-over every now and then. I am talking about little and big decisions. What if I had finished college? What if I had kissed that one special young woman back in the past? What if I took more chances? I know I have twisted this from a beautiful love story into a selfish reflection about me. I think when you see the future in those young lovers, you can’t help but place yourself there. To travel back in time in your mind and rewrite history, ever so subtlety or maybe even do a total rewrite with a new script and new players. I saw these kids at the wedding reception, so full of happiness and love. They were dancing and acting crazy with their friends and just living in that moment. They are young and they know the world is theirs. I wanted to feed on that energy, that hope, that wreck less abandon they felt. Alas, time has made me more cynical and cold than any person should ever be. I think that is why part of the reason I started this blog, to explore and to find that person of my youth. Laughing and singing and just waiting for the next moment. I can emote better here than I can in person. Over the years, I have trained myself to hold back, to cut myself off from people in my life. Part of it is the nature of how I grew up, but I can’t blame it strictly on that. It is a conditioning I have embraced. Various things from my past, that are my fault, have made me build this wall. I a trying to tear it down, but it is hard to do. Seeing two people in love, which such a promising future exposed the fractures in my fa├žade. I truly wish them every bit of happiness the world has to give, but there is a little tint of green in these words.

Have a great evening!

Thursday Night Live…Sort of

Good evening all. Hope everyone is doing well! Not a lot going on tonight, just thought I’d not down a couple of random thoughts I’ve had today. Work was slow, so my mind wandered off a lot. So I think I’m going to start writing more. Not just on the blog, but more for myself. Start up writing my poetry again. I want to get back into it. This blog seems to be a good format for it. I received quiet a few likes for my last poetry post. (Thanks everyone who took the time to like my post). It was a confidence booster, I have to say.

I was thinking about just the times we live in today. Things just feel fucked. There is so much out there that is wrong. A cloud that covers everything and there is no light for us to lock on. I was thinking though, there is hope. Our youth of today will be the ones to fix what has been broken. I work with a lot of great younger people. They are smart, caring and are beginning to see just how rigged the game is. Millennials get a bad rap. They are smart enough to see the BS in our world and think that it can be better. It really gives me hope.

Not too much else going on right now. I really wanted to jot this down not just to ramble, but I want to keep posting. I want to get back to fun things too: movie, music and video game reviews. They are coming!

Everyone take care!

Republican Jesus

Good afternoon all! I hope everyone is doing well today. I’m going down again in some murky water today. I’m going to talk about Republican Jesus. Now Republican Jesus (RJ for the rest of the article), from what I have seen and read is a white male with a strong hatred for minorities, LGBQT, basically anyone not white. He’s also a Capitalist and knows that the USA is the only country that can make sense of this crazy world. He would totally against socialized medicine, education for all and let’s be honest, anything that involves people helping each other. RJ doesn’t believe in science, thinks birth control is a sin and that that the world is about 6000 years old. Sounds like a Hell of a guy, huh? Well if you listen to evangelicals and Republicans like Mike Pence, this is the Jesus people should follow. I’ll have to give Republicans credit, they can warp and twist anything to their own insane beliefs.

Now I need to let you know where I am coming from with this post to give some perspective. I’m not religious at all. I’m an atheist. Most of my life has been spent thinking that anyone foolish enough to follow a magic man in the sky, can’t be rowing with both oars in the water. I have soften my stance as I’ve gotten older and I can see there is a difference between someone who screams about how their God is the only God compared to the people who genuinely have a faith that pushes them and gives them comfort. There is a distinct difference. Once someone spouts out hate and bile about anyone different than they are, that’s when you have crossed over into a religion of hate.

How did it get to this point? How did we get to a point where Donald Trump is considered a good person by any percentage of so called “religious” people? I believe it is a mixture of ignorance, fear, homophobia, a blind love of Capitalism at any cost. Politics play so much into this as well. When you mix politics and religion you end up with the kid playing the banjo in the movie “Deliverance”. RJ is the result of all the bad that is in people. I don’t think anyone but a Republican Jesus would put kids in cages, profit from that and laugh all the way to the bank. I can’t see Jesus of Nazareth being anything like these people reflect. If anything Jesus would be kicking these guys out of office.

I think Jesus’ teachings are good. I think that one could live a peaceful life just following what he taught. I personally don’t believe the religious aspects of him, but I think there is a wonderful philosophy there that can serve people. To take it and twist it and ignore so much of it, just rile up ignorant people is horrible. RJ is the sum of all hatred and fear in man. Don’t let him win. Try to be good to each other. Help your fellow human out on this crazy road. Sprinkle a little understanding in your life. Think and feel. There’s too much anger out there as it is.

Take care

I AM BACK.

Hello all! it has been a bit since I last posted. been fighting off a sinus infection and I just did not feel like getting on and posting much. Not a lot going on lately other than being sick. That said, I am going to post a few of my poems tonight. I know there are a couple of you out there that read my blog and I’d like to know what you think. I am not one to use a lot word tricks or anything really clever, it is just basic emotions I have put down on paper over the years that happen to rhyme. So I will submit these now and I will get back to blogging more consistently.

The first one here is call “Moments”. I don’t usually title anything I write, but I felt this needed something. I wrote this many years ago when I was in college.

A Dream
A Sigh
A Wave good-bye

A Touch
A Kiss
A Moment of Bliss


A Spark
A Fire
A Tremble of Desire

A Hug
A Grin
A Quick thought of sin


A Hope
A Tear
A Sudden rush of fear...

You see, it is a simple poem, but I do think it says a bit about how and what we can experience, especially with that certain someone. A lot of my poems back in my younger days were about lost love, yearning, longing for that one true love. I suppose a lot of young men feel the same way. I had this jumble of emotions and confusion in myself and I wasn’t sure how to express it other than in my poetry.

Now this next one is also about love. It is what I thought the ideal love would be like. It’s very idealistic and probably not based in reality, but that is the great thing about love; it doesn’t have to make sense. It is called “Love is”.

Love is just one moment in time; yet it lasts forever.
Love is when two people meet and they realize that the other is the one.
Love is holding hands and stolen kisses on a long summer night.
Love is being there the next morning.
Love is elusive; but when caught, love never goes away
Love is confusing, but love brings understanding.
Love is looking into eyes and trembling inside.
Love is a living thing. It needs care and attention to make it grow.
Love is being there every day and every night.
Love is a flame that burns eternally.

I guess it is kind of sappy and hokey now that I see it written out again. I still think it holds true though. Love doesn’t change, the way we see it and feel it does however. Young love is full of passion, lust and energy. It is though long walks, those stolen moments of love when you are next to that certain person. Older love becomes more pragmatic and practical. It is just as strong, but you’re there for when things go wrong more, just because more can go wrong when you’re older.

I will leave you tonight with this last short verse. everyone has the capacity to love. It’s whether or not we believe in ourselves and allow ourselves to feel. That in turn, runs the risk of being hurt, but you can’t never love if you don’t try.

If you can breathe you can love.
If you can love you can give.
If you can give you can live.
If you can live you can love.


Take care all. I will be posting again soon.

Take care


Another day in Purgatory

I’m here at work today and as usual my mind and heart are not into it. My cubicle feels like it’s closing in on me. I’m not using the word prison just because there are people in cages now and I know what I’m going through is nothing compared to that. I’m in a sludge of a job. It pays well, so I can’t complain about that. The work swings from mind numbingly boring to banging your head against the wall frustrating. Lately I’ve had this feeling of running away. Dropping it all and starting over. I guess a lot of people my age feel that way. I have no intention of doing it, but the thought pops in my head occasionally.

I’ve noticed that older I get, the less tolerant I am towards the status quo. I’m not becoming more conservative as I get older, but more radical. Well these days radical means you believe in healthcare for all, women’s rights, fair and just treatment of immigrants, free college and basically anything a civilized society can agree upon. In today’s America, that’s radical.

Anyway, this was just a few thoughts floating around my head. I’m trying to be better about posting.

Take care!

Another Day, Another Embarrassing Tweet

Well it looks like Trump has put his foot firmly in the middle of the mud and slime that is racism. I just keep getting amazed at the shit he says and is allowed to say by his own party. I do need to clarify, I know the Republican Party is full of racist assholes. This goes for the herd that follows Trump to the Republican Leadership. What I mean is there is no word as of yet from Republicans in response to racist rant he had on Twitter Sunday night. The silence says so much at this point. This meathead cannot just go out and say he represents this country. Yes there are racists that are his base. It is those and the Hillary haters that got this idiot elected in the first place. The anger these Republicans must feel towards minorities has to be overwhelming. Their insecurity that the country might not be as white as it once was is sickening. I just hope we can get this fool out of office at the next election.

Poem

Circling above wishing I could truly break free,
Visioning what life would have been for you and me.
Sweeping around like the eagle searching for the dawn,
I twist and turn yearning for some sense to be drawn
From the randomness that every new day brings.

I'm drawn to your heart like a moth to the flame
Heart pounding, hands shaking at the sound of your name.
My nights are too cold and the days are too long,
But still I try to fill in the void that comes along
Knowing I'll never see you again.



Sunday Night Blahs

Good evening everyone. I hope everyone had a great weekend and a relaxing Sunday night. I’m just chilling and watching a little YouTube. This weekend was pretty relaxing. Saturday bummed around and played video games. (Review coming shortly). Today went and saw Spiderman: Far from Home. I will say if you can get past the first 40 minutes, the movie definitely picks up. Jake Gyllenhaal was excellent as Mysterio. I won’t go into much, the movie hasn’t been out that long and I don’t want to spoil it.

So with Sunday Evening comes anxiety. I hate Sunday nights. I dread going to work. I know we all do, but it’s just getting worse the older I get. The thought of 25 more years of this is too depressing for words. I’ll put on my big boy pants tonight and get over it. Just was on my mind. Needed to get it out.

Well that’s all I have tonight. Not much to say. I’m trying to be better at posting. Hopefully you will be seeing more content!

Take care

July 5th

Hello all. Just wanted to write down some thoughts I am having this morning. I’m sitting here at work trying hard not to be whiny because I have to be here today.

My 4th passed by uneventful. I slept a lot of the day, which was great. I didn’t watch any of Trump’s Ego parade and overall I had a nice day off.

Reading the news this morning as any other morning, fills me with anger and frustration over where this country is going. The goose steps towards the far right this country is taking is amazing to me. Hatred for minorities is rampant, concentration camps, stripping down of environmental protections, corporate welfare and so many more openly anti-democratic statements by this government, my head spins at what else can happen.

A lot of people blame Trump for this. Now do not get me wrong, he is everything I hate in a person. He is a misogynist, bigoted and an ignorant asshole however, he is just the end result of years of manipulation by Republicans to take the highly ignorant voting base they have and mold them into this mass of people who hate anything progressive and intellectual. Trump is only one of the symptoms of the disease. Republicans understand the fear and ignorance of the poor, white voter and they also have a great power base with the rich. Combine those two theoretically opposing groups and you can see how the Republicans have become stronger over the years.

It’s always amazing to me how Republicans can take ideas like climate change, immigration, tax cuts and military spending and justify any means to their end. Outright denial of climate change even after almost every scientist on the planet agrees it’s an issue that needs to be addressed soon. Putting families in cages, lying that there are hordes of people marching to get into the USA. Justifying racism under the guise of safety for our country. I also see that trickle down theory is still in place even after corporations have proven they will either sit on their cash or just buy back stocks with the tax cuts given them instead of expanding and creating good jobs. Lastly the military spending this country does is insane. We are in a constant state of war. There’s money to be made on the backs of our soldiers. The real spending for the military should be in the form of better medical services and transition services for soldiers after they come back into the civilian world.

One very important thing I didn’t mention above and I should have (my apologies) is the reproductive rights of women. Republicans have a tendency to think they know what is best for women. Trying to cut off access to much needed help as birth control, Planned Parenthood centers and other educational items speak to their ignorance about women and people. The pro-life obsessed wing nuts lead to such laws as in Alabama where almost all abortions are banned. They want the babies born, but don’t give a shit about what happens to them afterwards. Once again this goes back to education. Teenagers need to be educated about reproduction and be given access to free birth control. Please forgive my crudeness, but teenagers are going to fuck. They are curious about sexuality and sex. Why not educate them and give them the ability to get contraception. You cannot put your head in the sand and pretend that teenagers will abstain from sex until marriage. This is not going to happen. Actually this has never happened. Old people like to pretend they were all chaste and pure but they did the same thing teens do now. The holier than thou attitude needs to stop.

Well I guess that’s enough of the soapbox today. There is so much more I could have written and I will at a later date.

Take care all!!